#21:   1993 – Leaving Laos

January 13

Last Friday, we had our annual party with the printers. Both Russell and I have major projects involving the Government printers, so we throw a party for them on their premises to mark the new year. We had beer, wine, whiskey and various sweet and salty snacks. We all took turns singing songs (R&I did a pretty poor rendition of “Down by the Old Mill Stream.”) We danced the lamvong, the Lao circle dance so subtle that you’re almost not moving. It was a very lively party, ending with speeches all around. They’re wonderful, hard-working and caring folks, and we’ll be sorry to leave them.

May 11

We’ve found someone to rent our house when we depart. They’ll also buy some of the furniture and take over most of the household staff. The only one they may not retain is Khetmani, because they already have a cook/maid. But they’re not very happy with this person, trying to decide whether to use the move as a face-saving way to give her notice. We should know soon what they decide, but it would be wonderful to know that all the staff have jobs when we go.

We had a visit from the director of the Indochina Program at the East-West Center in Hawaii. He happened to be in Vientiane for his own reasons and stopped by the house to meet R and talk about the potential for us to come there to write our books. He made it very clear that he would be much in favor of giving R a grant and other material support. He promised to send a fax when he got back and asked R to prepare a budget and c.v. Russell gave him an outline of his book, so this man will present the outline, c.v. and budget to the committee which takes these decisions, and we’ll see what happens. When he left, he made a point of saying, “I hope the next time we meet we’ll be in Hawaii.” I think it’s too soon to open the champagne, but we just got closer to the goal of writing our books. (Since mine is meant to be more pop and Russell’s is more technical/academic, he’s the one to go after a grant. Then we’d live off it, ending with a book apiece. Actually, we both have ideas for more than one book, if time allows.)

May 19

At last we have a decision on when we’re leaving — July 1. The U.N. Development Programme and the Lao Government met last Friday to assess R’s project and to decide how to complete it. They rated the project very highly and have asked R to return  mid-August to shepherd the new foreign investment law through the legislature and help the Government implement it. In between, we’ll see friends and family on both coasts and fly on to Hawaii, where Russell will sign a contract with the East-West Center to be a Fellow while writing two books on lessons from Laos. He’ll then return to Laos August 14 – September 19 while I stay in Honolulu to find house, car, clear shipment of household goods from Laos through Customs, etc.

As you can imagine, all this has shifted us into high gear. We’ve got about six weeks to complete all our projects, decide what to sell and what to pack, then sell and pack, make flight arrangements, say goodbye to friends and colleagues, etc. We both feel it’s do-able, but it’s going to take lots of energy, flexibility, patience and stamina.

May 26

A lot of people, many of them Lao, have been kind enough to say that we should stay, that there is still so much to be done, and that we can make a contribution. But we feel it’s a good time to go. It’s not only that you should “always leave ’em wanting more,” but that you don’t want to become part of the problem. People who stay too long in one place in this business tend to lose their perspective and flexibility and therefore their effectiveness. We’ve seen a lot of changes here — in the physical structures of the city, in the attitudes and behavior of the people. It’s been good to have experienced these changes, but it’s also time to go.

We’ve started thinking about what we’re looking forward to, and here’s a partial list: modern bathrooms with hot water that always works and adequate water pressure for a good shower, safe salads and safe water out of the tap (do you know how lucky you are to be able to wash an apple just by turning on the water?), fresh milk everyday, telephones and faxes that you can take for granted, disciplined traffic (it’s nothing to find a Mack truck coming right at you in your lane; you get off the road or die), daily access to movies, plays, museums, etc. And Russell’s looking forward to cheeseburgers!

Russell with his admin. assistant, Sipraseuth Chanthapanya

Working in international development means saying goodbye all the time. It’ll be hard to leave our staff, both at home and at the office, people whom we’ve come to care about and respect through daily working together. One also comes to know expat friends well in this kind of setting, but many of ours have left or are leaving at about the same time. We’re having a series of small Sunday brunches to bid farewell.

What won’t we miss? Well, I’ll be glad to leave the climate. Nine months of high heat and humidity really do me in. The winter here is glorious, but the rest of the year just has to be endured.

June 2

We went around the house and made a list of what to sell and what to pack. We plan to give the new tenants first choice on buying and then sell what’s left the weekend of June 12th. We hope to have a yard sale and ask that key items be left with us until we go. That’s standard practice here, so we’re hopeful we’ll have a stove and a bed for a couple weeks after the sale.

I’m delighted we’ve found a job for Khetmani. She’ll be working for a new Australian Embassy official, which means she’ll have all sorts of important benefits and lifetime job security. Once you’re in the Embassy system, you rarely leave unless you want to. She’s a young widow with a child, a good cook and a lovely person. We’re so happy she’s going to have this excellent opportunity.

June 9

Russell’s winding things up at the office, and I’m doing the same at the house. We’ve put up signs for our “Giant Leaving Sale” and been pestered hourly by friends, colleagues and strangers about special deals. No special deals. If you want to buy our stove/refrigerator/air conditioners/bikes/books/bed/couch/table or anything else, come on Saturday with the money. It’s the only fair thing to do. We’ve priced the big items, books and tapes, but there’s a lot more to prep before we’re ready. We stay up late every night and sort, toss, pack and price.

The packers arrive 28 June, when we’ll move into a local guest house in a villa downtown. In the meantime, we’re starting to head into a heavy social schedule. It’s the custom here to be feted by virtually everyone who knows you, so our lives are about to be filled with brunches, lunches, cocktails, receptions and dinners. It’ll be fun, but it’ll also be exhausting. Friends who’ve left so far all say that by the time they got on the plane, they could barely walk up the steps!

June 16

I spent all morning trying to put everything in some organized piles so it would be easier for the packers to estimate the volume. Overseas shipping is charged by the cubic meter, not by weight as in the States; it was to my advantage to clump it together so they could get the best idea possible of volume.

June 26

Farewell, dear Swedes

This is the last letter I’ll write you from Vientiane. After two and a half years, it seems strange to think that I won’t be sitting down every week to write you about Lao events and observations. I’ve really enjoyed this chance to be in touch, even if a group letter is a bit impersonal. Thanks for all your cards and letters in return. They helped us feel not so far away.

We have, as promised, been on a giant round of goodbye entertaining. If our stomachs, bottoms, legs and strength hold out, we’ll have experienced a United Nations of cuisines.

Farewell, dear Russians

Last Friday, the Russians filled us up with piroshki, sausages, potato salad, Russian cole slaw, various pickles and an entree of pork, onions and greens. The evening was especially touching because it was an attempt to give us a typical Russian family party, and they used up all their treats out of a CARE package from home. We felt guilty eating all their special food and drinking all their special drinks, but we knew it was important to them that we enjoy ourselves.

Saturday was the Kowboy Karaoke performance. Lots of fun, even if we did have the inevitable technical glitches. They had the best hamburgers and hot dogs I’ve eaten here. The cast was treated by the Golf Club (venue), so we were filled to the brim with barbecue treats.

Front porch farewell to some of the brunch bunch

Sunday, we hosted our last brunch, featuring chile rellenos casserole, French bread, pomelo (like grapefruit, only better), cookies, coffee, tea, bloody marys and mimosas. That afternoon, we took it easy, reading books and resting — the last quiet time we’ll have until we leave.

Monday, we went to Sakura with Keiko and Hiroshi Okabe and their son, Kota. They’re both friends and colleagues. Keiko was R’s assistant for the series of investment conferences the project hosted last year. We ate well at this relatively new addition to the restaurant scene, thanks to their choosing the food, including lots of things that weren’t on the menu. It was our treat, and we definitely were treated by their choices.

Khetmani (R) with her sisters

Tuesday was our reception for all R’s Lao colleagues in both the public and private sectors. Khetmani brought in two sisters and we four fixed a combination of Lao and American finger foods. In addition, there was an open bar, manned by our gardener and R’s  driver with whiskey, gin, vodka, wine, beer and soft drinks. The Lao love scotch-and-soda, and the two barmen did a land office business.

We had about 30 guests, and as these things are evaluated in Vientiane, it was a great success. Everyone seemed to have a good time, but success here is measured by counting high-ranking heads, and the Lao were gratified that so may HRH came. The HRH all said kind and gracious things about Russell in public. We just wanted to say thank you to all the folks we’d worked with. The other was extra, but it seemed to make a big difference to R’s immediate Lao colleagues.

On Wednesday, the U.N. Development Programme’s Resident Rep (R’s ultimate boss) hosted a very formal lunch with high-ranking Lao officials and the Australian and American Ambassadors, full of champagne toasts and good will all around. That evening, the American Ambassador hosted an informal dinner with members of the American community, again with champagne toasts. I’ll say one thing for living in a former French colony: you get to drink a lot of champagne.

Thursday found us at another lunch, this one hosted at a Lao restaurant by R’s Lao boss and attended by all his immediate colleagues. No champagne, but lots of Lao beer. It was a very intimate, familial setting, very affecting.

Russell’s UNDP boss, Ameerah Haq (L), and Australian nurse, Carmel O’Sullivan (R)

Friday saw us at two informal events — lunch with Australian friends at the Aussie Residence and an evening party at the UNDP Res Rep’s. She had a self-proclaimed “bash” for all the folks who’re leaving. There must have been over 100 people there. We were entertained by the staff’s children singing Western songs and dancing the lamvong. Those who were leaving were required to get up and dance. It was all a bit overwhelming for two folks who are nearing exhaustion, but we tried to be good sports.

Tonight, we’re the guests of honor at another dinner, this time hosted by the Australian nurse, who’s become a close friend. Tomorrow night, our Lao friends are pooling their resources to give us a party at one of their houses. We’re very much looking forward to both events.

July 1

HERE WE COME!

Last minute news bulletin:

Russell was given a medal by the Lao Government in appreciation for “service above and beyond…” Other than diplomats, he’s only the second foreigner to receive such an honor.